Love, Self-Ideal, Self-Reality, and Everything in between
All I wanna do is find a way back into love. -Hugh Grant & Haley Bennet (Way Back into Love)
Love, everyone is asking for the meaning of love. If love is medicine, it must be in the therapeutic window — not the lower dose so it becomes ineffective, nor the upper amount so it becomes toxic.
I think everyone needs love, but many people can’t differentiate between love and lust. And I am one of them. Overthinking at night, happily outside, but craving for love inside. I think I can’t bear it again to wear a “mask” that I don’t need a relationship.
But, before that, I think I must fix my self-ideal — it is called my expectations to myself of myself. Then, I need to integrate it into my self-reality — it is called facts of myself. To become a counselor, I must integrate those.
But, how do we know, the self-reality?
Or, how do we know, the self-ideal?
Or… how do we know, is it self?
The self-reality is the same question that we are asked, “Where are you?” You are aware that are your dislikes and likes, your strengths and weaknesses, your personality, and your life values. Usually, people jump from this area to their dreams, so after they know what they have dreamed of, they feel clueless because they don’t know where to start.
Knowing our self-reality leads us to self-awareness. Every time I listen to others, I usually start with their self-awareness — Do they know about themselves? Then after that, I choose goals for theirs to make breakdowns, so self-reality and self-ideal have a correlation.
Sometimes, they don’t know what is their goals or what the purpose of their life in this world. I will give the task for them to write River of Life — an autobiography of themselves from baby until now. They will write big or small events that could change themselves. After that, I will give homework to write a diary every day before sleep.
Then tada, magic happens from Love, Self-Ideal, and Self-Reality.
Didn’t write the plans means planned to fail.
I hope you could write the life’s proposal! Ciao~
